PDF Kathy Said, Youre Not Lost to Me

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Now, I was perplexed because she typed up the word, put in on a visual, and said it multiple times with ease. I questioned her.

That if the n-word was to be used in data it should be truncated, you know, like how she apologized. I went on to say that she has no excuses as she lives in Atlanta, Georgia the black Hollywood capital with no absence of black people in her city. I told Kathy that I was excited to be out of the country for the 4th and how I never thought that in Bordeaux I would have to deal with this.


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That as a black woman in America my life is threatened every single day and for her to not validate my words when I was sitting directly across her as the only black person at the table was a horrific experience. She is a writer for a major publication so in my teaching moment I shared how she knows first-hand how derogatory the word is and how she has seen white celebrities use the word and ripped apart by the media. She had no excuse. I questioned her use of power and privilege especially since she had a visual cue to not say the word.

Kathy did not see me. She chose to not see me.

Kathy Said, You're Not Lost to Me by Jackie McCullough (, Paperback) | eBay

Like some white women in America using their white privilege to ignore my existence. You literally used my name in reference to your data and you STILL felt it was okay to use the n-word. You made a choice. White women are exhausting and I was tired. Later that night there was a gala.


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  • This time with white tears aka when white people feel their white privilege is being threatened. She was sick with what happened. I told her it is a journey for her to go on to figure out why she said the word. The next morning, white tears transcended into white guilt. Kathy was still troubled by saying the n-word multiple times. She wanted to know what to do. Once again I told her that she had a journey to getting to the point of saying the word and she will have a journey understanding why she said it.

    That the intent of the use of the n-word was to not harm, but the outcome was just that. Please note, that it is not the responsibility of black people to help white people figure out why they say derogatory and racism terms or practice discriminatory behavior. There is something called ancestral trauma.

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    By you saying the n-word yesterday I not only have to feel the negative outcome of that word which you saw with the start of my tears. I had to feel the trauma of my ancestors who were harmed or even lost their lives because of that word.

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